When will I stop yearning?

I don't understand how a connection can vanish? One minute I'm all you think about, the next you don't give me another thought.

Why is this the way it works? If all relationships follow this pattern, then why would I ever believe that one relationship will somehow be different? Why do other relationships seem to follow a different pattern?

The fact is I miss him. It wasn't to "bee". It doesn't mean that I don't want that phone call. I doesn't mean that I didn't want less or more or different. I means that I miss him and I still "bee"lieve that things could have worked out. It means that I continue to torment myself with what I could have done differently or what was wrong with me. I makes me wonder why others were "good enough" and I didn't get a second chance.

Protect me Lord. Protect my heart from anyone that won't love me forever. Protect it from the torment I only impose myself. Protect my self-confidence and self-image from the evils that I imagine. Please God, protect me from everything especially the desire to be loved. It's a horrendous experience that has plagued my entire life. Quit allowing me to enter situations that will only lead to rejection. I'm not taking any more chances. I don't want to roll any more dice, Lord. Give me your best or keep me from wanting anything.